Things to Do in an Elevator
by i.am.moi
Summary: THE GREAT INO-CHAN'S DARE FOR BILLBOARD BROW TO DO IN UCHIHA CORP'S ELEVATOR (TGIDFBBTDIUCE for short). I am going to humiliate myself in front of my future husband on my first day of work! Kill me now...or rather, maim Ino now! AU. SASUSAKU.
1. Chapter 1

A new story for all those SASUSAKU fans out there. Hope ya'll like this one. Teehee. :D

**DISCLAIMER**: I own NOTHING!

**PROMPT:** A funny and super crazy stuff I stumbled upon from one of author's profile.

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**CHAPTER 1: ****TGIDTBBTDIUCE**

"Here." Ino Yamanaka said to a pink-headed woman, hands upside-down waiting for the latter to get the piece of paper from her hand.

"Huh? What's this for, Pig?" Sakura Haruno asked tilting her head to the side.

"Your punishment. Remember our bet last night at the bar, Forehead?" the blonde said.

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**FLASHBACK**

"_Hey cutie! Please give me another Hell Fire!" a drunk Sakura yelled not noticing the stares of some people in the club._

_The bar tender just shook his head and muttered, "Tsk. Women." while mixing the ordered drink._

"_Hey! Hey! I think you have got enough drinks, Forehead. Look at you all drunk and all. So just give me that drink!" Ino, also drunk, dove for the blood red drink that the bar tender gave Sakura._

"_Shut up! I. . .PIG! Gimme my baby back!" Sakura yelled lunging at Ino whose pink-glossed lips are just a few centimetres away from the rim of the shot glass._

_To make it short, the girls got drunk from all the alcohol that they have consumed and on the way back to their shared apartment (which was just down the block), their drunken minds thought that it's the best time to hold a bet. The bet you ask? Well, just run naked across the deserted street up to their apartment. _

_Short story even shorter, Ino won the bet since even in her drunken state, Sakura would never do such an "ungraceful and idiotic thing...oh look a flying pig!"- as she put it. _

_Being the idiot- erm, winner that she is, Ino can give any punishment to Sakura (as usual)._

**END FLASHBACK**

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Widening her eyes, Sakura unwillingly opened her palm signalling her friend to drop whatever it is that she is holding. After reading the contents of the paper, a vain popped out of her _notsohuge _forehead.

"What the hell, Pig? This can't be possible! I mean I am starting my job today and I don't want to mess it up! And how are you supposed to know if I have done everything in here? I mean, hello! You have your own job to do and you can't see me 'coz like I don't have any hidden camera in my body that can show you everything I am doing...wait did you put anything in my body? Oh, I know! You put the camera in my coffee so that when I drink it, it goes directly to my eyes and then some wire thingamajig will connect itself to my nerves making it possible for you to see everything I am seeing...Wait, that is so not possible! I mean you can't even plug the T.V, how can you even think of such an ingenious thing? Oh. Wait! Wait! Did you hack some space satellite so you can spy on me? That's dangerous you know. You never know if there is a spy looking at us now. And .GOSH! What if he saw me taking a shower?! That's so embarrassing! I mean-"

"SHUT UP FOREHEAD! Geez! Take a breath will you? Honestly, you always babble every time you lose a bet. To start off, I didn't hack anything or slip something in your drink. I know the head security of the company you will be working in so it's easy to look at the security cameras by the end of the day. This is also the reason why I gave you this embara- ahem, I mean _easy _dare. Oh and there is no such thing as spies spying at you in the shower. Nobody would even think of peeking at you, Forehead." Ino explained loudly having enough of her best friend's non-sense ramblings. "Oh, and you only have until the end of this week forehead so you have 5 days to complete these tasks- including today of course."

Sakura processed the information slowly. Thinking of ways to get out of this dilemma but she can find none since they did shake on it last night- the bet I mean.

Sighing, Sakura looked at her friend and said, "You really thought this through haven't you? Oh well, I guess I'll just have to do it but I will tell you this! If I get fired because of this, you are so dead, Pig!" and with that, she stormed out the door and went to work.

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**SAKURA'S POV**

Standing outside of a humongous building made me a bit nauseous. I mean, yeah I have been here for the interview but being nervous as hell, I didn't have the time to gawk at the building itself back then. But now that I got the job- the personal secretary of the CEO, yeah!- I can now appreciate the hugeness of the place I will work in, or rather, the place where I will do the most embarrassing thing ever in my life- Ino's stupid dare.

Snapping out of my daydream of the possible scenarios that will happen during and after I do Ino's dare, I finally went inside the building and went directly to the elevator- which is on the far left side of the wide and elegantly designed lobby.

Now you might all be wondering what company I am working on, right? Well, as cliché as it may seem (and it is) I work in the infamous Uchiha Corp. and the main branch at that. The CEO that I will be working with is _the_ Uchiha Sasuke- like, the hottest and sexiest man who has ever walked this planet. Yeah, I only did this job because I have this massive crush on him ever since I saw his face in a sports magazine..._a sports magazine_ wherein he was _topless_ and _sweaty _and showing his _six-pack_ with that _sexy smirk_ and that _ohsoverystylish hair_. I will let the image sink in your head first before I continue my monologue... now you all get my point right? I can see your drool from right here you know but I understand because I, myself, am drooling right now as well. Now back to the topic... getting this job is so not easy, fighting off thousands of girls for this spot is not a walk in the park. I even literally got scratched on the face by this red-haired glasses-wearing bitch once.

Well, now that you already know where I am, you might now be wondering what Ino's dare is huh? It's just a list actually- not more than a couple of dozen things to do. Yeah, it's not much especially after I dared Ino to strip dance in front of the whole bar last week (_Ahh, good times. Good times_). The dares are pretty simple if you look at it but very, very difficult to do for it will definitely bruise your ego and make everybody think of you as the freakiest freak of all freaks. Where's the list you ask? Well, I will show you:

**THE GREAT INO-CHAN'S DARE TO BILLBOARD BROW TO DO IN UCHIHA CORP'S ELEVATOR (TGIDTBBTDIUCE for short)**

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

3) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

4) MEOW occasionally.

5) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

6) SAY -DING at each floor.

7) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

8) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

9) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new underwear on."

10) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

11) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

12) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

13) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

14) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

15) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

16) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

17) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

18) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

29) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

20) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

21) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

It's a long list, but not much after what I have made Ino go through. The good thing is that there are no rules so I don't have to do things in order and I can do several dares at the same time- and I have plenty of time since my office is right next to the CEO's which is located at the top floor. Oh, did I mention that this building has 50 floors? No? Well, now you know.

I am now in front of the elevator with 7 more people beside me waiting for the steel doors to open. Looking at the list, I mentally decided what dares that I will do first.

The elevator doors opened revealing an empty lift and here is the start of the worst day of my- oh wait! Is that my boss, the totally smoking Uchiha Sasuke? The one who is also riding the very same elevator I am about to ride on? _Holy Guacamole!_ I am going to humiliate myself in front of my future husband on my first day of work! Kill me now...or rather, maim Ino now!

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**T.B.C**

This was supposed to be a oneshot but I enjoyed writing this so I decided to make it a multi-chapter fic- although this will be short one like 5 chapters short or so.

The list of dares is not mine... I actually saw it posted in the profile of one of the authors here although I forgot his/her penname. I am truly sorry that I didn't ask for permission but if this is yours I ask for your permission to borrow this- although it's a bit too late...ahehe.

Well, that's all for now. Hope that I can update regularly since I will be looking for jobs soon... cross fingers I guess.

Reviews make me happy and inspired to write so please R and R people!

_**-iammoi-**_


	2. Chapter 2

English is not my first language so I apologize for any and every grammar mistakes.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

**Chapter 2: Daydreams and Drools makes for good First Impressions  
**

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Gosh! What to do? What to do? I don't want to do these dares when my hot future darling is in the vicinity. Can you say major turn off? Waaaaa! Okay. Okay. Calm down Sakura. Let's find something that is easy and not too much of a weird thing to do.

Hmm. I am aiming for a dare that will at worst will make me look like I was sheltered my whole life away from the modern civilization and at best will make me look like I am just nervous for my first day at work. Yosh! Let's see… numbers 2 and 10 seems easy enough. Alright! Thankfully I don't need to do the dares in order. Now, I will just wait for Sasuke to get off and then commence the mission!

…

…

Shiznacku! I forgot that we will get off at the same floor! Darn it!

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_2) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves._

_10) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"_

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I am totally freaking out! Why oh why did Sasuke have to ride the same elevator as his employees? I mean, doesn't he like has his own private-express-to-his-executive-office one? I mean what was the point of being a CEO of this humungous company if you don't have a private elevator? Having buckets and buckets and _buckets_ of money, you would think he can afford another elevator. When I become his beautiful and intelligent wife, I will definitely demand that we have an elevator built for just us. The type that is so slow we can do everything in there before we arrive at our floor. Like you know... making-out like there's no tomorrow. Oh how hot will that be? Sasuke with his hair unruly and his shirt un-tucked and his chest in plain sig- okay getting carried away here but you get the point right? Oh, thinking about it almost makes me drool. Almost.

Wiping the side of my mouth just to be sure, I looked to my left and right and saw that people are looking at me weirdly. What? Never seen a fangirl dreaming of her very foreseeable future before? Honestly, people these days. Oh wait! I'm supposed to be a sexy yet very smart and proficient secretary of the CEO so I should stop acting like an idiot in front of my co-workers. I mean when I become the queen of this company I want them to respect me and not make fun of me as being the girl who made an idiot of herself in the elevator… Yeah, I can totally see myself as the woman respected by my underlings in the future. NOT. Damn Ino and her stupid dare.

Okay I need to stop mentally rambling now…

Thank goodness Sasuke is at the other side of the elevator and is not sparing any of us low lives any attention. I looked up at that small screen on top of the doors that showed which floor you're on, whatever that's called, and saw that we are already at the 37th floor, 13 more to go.

As we ascend, more and more employees got off until we arrived at the 47th and only Sasuke and I are left.

Silence.

Que daydream from before. Drools.

Calming my hormones down, I looked at my right (where my gorgeous CEO is) and saw that he is staring at me. Like full-blown staring. At. Me.

Wipes drool. Awkward silence.

And then…

"Uhmm. Is that your beeper, sir?" …I panicked.

Crickets. Crickets.

Oh my shiznitz! Did I just say that? I am so hoping for the floors to open and swallow me whole. I glanced at him sneakily and saw that he is still staring at me and this time he looks like he thinks I had grown another head. I felt my neck and face go hot and I bet I look like an overriped tomato right now. I just wanna die! Like, right now!

I looked at the screen again and saw that it's the 50th so wanting to get out of the awkward silence so badly, I again, panicked and did the stupidest thing ever.

I tried to open the elevator doors forcefully- complete with the grunts and the heaving. Despite being the valedictorian of my graduate class from university, I have the tendency to do the most unbelievable and embarrassing things when I panic. Oh the stories I can tell you but won't. This is definitely an FML moment that I don't need to fake being embarrassed because I just am.

On the bright side, at least I can cross out those two out from the list…

Excuse me while I get a brown bag to put over my head.

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_AN: Sorry for this chapter's length guys! I solemnly swear (HP fanatic here.hehe) that the next will be much longer than this one because the main storyline for SASUSAKU will start there. I promise no fast update but expect that I will post Chapter 3 before the month ends and if I'm feeling the Holiday spirit, even chapter 4 but I won't count on it much. Hehe. Nonetheless, I will finish this story no matter how many months it takes. Yosh! _

_For all those who took the time to review this story, I thank you very much! I hope this chapter is to your liking although it's quite short. Tehee._

_luvu11, LoverForAnime and those 2 guests, I LOVE YOU ALL! YOU ROCK! Here's a big Santa sugar cookie and a bear hug from moi!_

_To those incredible people who are following and made TTDIAE their fave, kisses for you guys!  
_

_Click every button below! Buttons are fun to click you know! Please review! ^^,v_

_-iammoi-_


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